Trust His Heart
room2seat15
It was on August 13, exactly the first day I experienced knee pain. I had right calf pain and right knee pain, mostly painful upon squatting. I'm an ICU nurse/CRRT Nurse and weight bearing work is part of my job. Unknowingly, my work had aggravated the pain. August 20 I had a right knee MRI which shows subchondral bone marrow edema. I still can walk but pain is getting worse. Then it happened that on August 28, my left knee started to have pain as well. And that's when it hit me, I can no longer continue my work as a bedside staff. How can I continue taking care of others and do my usual work if me, myself is in pain? That's when I decided to take care of myself first.
Some would think Im acting up, some would laugh thinking im too young to have this condition, and some were just too harsh. I kept it all inside, laughing with them but inside it honestly hurts.
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Thank God, my request was granted and I was posted out of bedside for my remaining 2 weeks of work. But still, limping while walking has been a part of me. And that was the hardest 2 weeks of my whole entire career as a nurse. I felt helpless and hopeless. I didn't had proper diagnosis from the doctors and no one is actually following my case. I'd look at people while walking and fascinated how easy it is for them to walk fast with ease and without pain. And there I was, in pain even at rest, in pain even when Im only doing simple office works. I was drowned with negative thoughts , self pity and depression.
One weekend,i woke up with usual negativities, and yet i was dragged by the spirit to go to church and hear God's message. The message was exactly what i needed to hear. It was about the woman who had been bleeding for 12 years. The woman's faith had healed her, completely. I don't exactly know how long I needed to wait for God to heal me. Or if he would heal me or not. All I know is that I will never remain hopeless because the God whom i serve and worship is alive, and there is always hope in Him. I
